Comments on: There is such a thing as a stupid question.

By: goodbyemyboy

goodbyemyboy — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 20:38:19 +0000

Wow, I would never have thought of it that way. That’s actually kind of scary.

By: spacedcowgirl

spacedcowgirl — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 05:05:13 +0000

Those are some really interesting points about how early on we can internalize that our hunger is not as important as other people’s convenience, or how much other people think we “should” eat, etc. Same for sleep and other “scheduling” issues. It’s kind of scary.

And congratulations, and it sounds like you’re a great mom. Actually many of the comments upthread gave me the warm fuzzies… I’m glad you guys have children since you obviously love them a great deal.

By: fran

fran — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:28:37 +0000

I’m a new lurker (academic, Episcopalian, parent of 2, fat but emphasizing healthy) and I enjoy your posts very much. Thank you for your perspectives. Congratulations on your Grace!

Speaking as a mom with medical reasons for formula feeding my babies, the breastfeeding-formula issue is a difficult one for moms. If a good baby is one who eats and grows into the life she has been given by God, then a good mama is one who knows that she must feed that baby, no matter what happens. You do what you need to do, whether it is feeding on demand despite public idiocy over naked breasts or mixing up a bottle of a breast milk substitute. And you hope that God helps you live into BOTH the difficulties caused by not sleeping at night because the baby is howling and the pleasures of holding a sweet little bundle while everyone coos around you.

By: wellroundedtype2

wellroundedtype2 — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:09:09 +0000

Wonderful post.
I can’t believe you have the time/energy to post, but I’m very thankful. Your daughters are very blessed to have you as their mom.

It’s radical, in a way, to put a baby and her needs in the center, rather than trying to get a baby (a tiny newborn one at that) on a schedule.

Babies don’t exist to fit conveniently into our lives, like a handbag or other accessory. They are people, although small and without a whole lot they can do for themselves (hence the crying).

Thank you for reminding me what it was like to be asked that question. Someone asked me if my little one was “dificult” and I thought for a minute and said, “no,” reflecting that my difficulties in being a parent are not my little human’s fault.

By: bfer

bfer — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:05:21 +0000

There is a bit of truth to formula fed babies eating less often. Formula *does* actually sit in the stomach longer, because it is so hard to digest… so not at all for the reasons people imagine, it´s actually quite negative.

nice post

By: christina

christina — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:07:35 +0000

amen. i just had to comment. i have a 9 month old, and this question drove me crazy. it really hate (even now) when people ask if he is sleeping through the night. it drives me crazy that people have an expectation that their babies only eat every 4 hours and should sleep through the night. i signed up for being a parent 24/7, not just from 7 am to 7 pm!

By: katiekind

katiekind — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 01:45:36 +0000

“Is there any other kind?”

That’s brilliant! No! There is not! She is wonderful just as God made her. She is feeding just as God made her to feed.

Your post was wonderful, I’m glad I stumbled across your blog.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:37:52 +0000

First off, CONGRATS!

I’m somewhat appalled at the good/bad baby thing. A baby’s job is to make lots of noise (early forms of communication), make lots of mess (yay poopy diapers!… wait…), drink milk/formula, get the occasional nap. “Driving parents batty” is part of the Official Baby Job Description. Good or bad does not enter the picture. My brother was a screamy baby, fussing easily and extremely picky about what he would or wouldn’t eat when he started eating soft foods. I was almost the exact opposite. But we were both loved. And that right there? That’s where good or bad comes into play; at that point, we’re not really talking about the baby anymore.

By: Aurora

Aurora — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:36:17 +0000

I got this question a LOT too, when my daughter was an infant. I think it’s partly our cultural emphasis on conflating the person with behavior; that is, praise such as “good girl” or “good boy” instead of “good job with the sweeping.” But there is an added dimension when it’s applied to an infant, who, after all, isn’t “doing” anything except being a baby! It really drove me crazy: really what could they expect the answer to be? No, really she’s DEVIL SPAWN!! I started just saying “yes, she is a wonderful baby, as all babies are” and not answering ANY personal questions such as how much/what/when she was eating or sleeping. No one’s business.

By: Miriam Heddy

Miriam Heddy — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:58:50 +0000

Though I sometimes refer to my 7 and 4 year old as “the monsters” (strictly tongue in cheek, except when my tongue is sticking out), I’ve long hated that “good baby” thing. Gah.

Now, with a 3.5 month old, I get to hear that again, often tied not just to food but to sleep. “Is he sleeping through the night?”

“Yes, he is, except for when he wakes up to nurse and I roll over and nurse him, but insofar as I don’t get up during the night, then yes, we’re both sleeping through the night.”

And y’know, I’ve had to supplement with formula for all three kids (using a Medela SNS) but hey, I am typing this at work while pumping).

Anyhow, yes, babies bring out the stupid questions.