My new weight-loss plan!
I have another weigh-in with the OB today. I’ve been rehearsing my answer when he tells me I’ve gained: “That’s not surprising, I’m very hungry, and its getting harder to move around”.
However, I have decided that it is time to take control, and do something about my weight. I have chosen a plan, and I’m going to stick to it for a month and see where it gets me.
I’m going to leave my weight in the hands of Saint Bartholomew.
The Patron Saint of bookbinders and Florentine cheese merchants.
From the Wikipedia page linked above:
Of the many miracles performed by St. Bartholomew before and after his death, two very popular ones are known by the town-folk of the small island of Lipari. When St. Bartholomew’s body was found off the shore, the Bishop of St. Christopher’s Church of Lipari ordered many men to get the body. When this failed due to its extreme weight, the Bishop then sent out the children. The children easily brought the body ashore even though the older men couldn’t.
Ever since his discovery on the island, the people of Lipari celebrated his feast day annually. The tradition of the people was to take the solid silver and gold statue from inside the Cathedral of St. Bartholomew and carry it through the town. When taking the statue down the hill towards the town, it suddenly got very heavy and had to be set down. When the men carrying the statue regained their strength they lifted it a second time. After another few seconds, it got even heavier. They set it down and attempted once more to pick it up. They managed to lift it but had to put it down one last time. Within seconds, the walls further downhill collapsed. If the statue had been able to be lifted, all of the townspeople would have been killed.
The island has been invaded in its history. During one invasion, the king of the invading country discovered the statue and ordered it to be taken to be melted down. The statue was taken to the kingdom and weighed. It was found to weigh only two ounces and was thought to be hollow. It was returned to its place in the cathedral in Lipari. In reality, the statue weighs several tons and it is considered a miracle that it was not melted down.
St. Bartholomew is credited with many other miracles having to do with the weight of objects.
So St. Bart- do your thing.
My health I’ll keep tabs on myself. I’ll take responsibility for what I eat. I’ll own the fact that I don’t move this body around any more than I have to, these days. I’ll beat myself up a little for the fact that I don’t get into bed as early as I know I need to. I’ll even take the hit for the puffy ankles that indicate I haven’t found enough time in a day to elevate my feet above my heart.
My weight, St. Bartholomew, is up to you now.
I figure it’s at least as reliable a plan as “calories in/calories out”. It’s as simple as that. I may look for research funding to determine if my plan can ever be as effective, in the long term, as dieting.
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