I’m Just Saying

As predicted, the OB had a comment about my weight gain over the last two weeks. It came shortly after the “so how are you feeling” question. He did not get the long answer to that question:

I’ve been thinking about that one alot. I’m feeling really, really fantastic, thanks for asking, doc!

Compared to this point in my last pregnancy I have:
*no gestational diabetes
*no back pain
*no problems with blood pressure
*very little anxiety about my ability to handle parenting
*slightly more fatigue (due in part to the midnight-wakeups with my darling toddler).

But you have a form, and I know that ‘weight’ is a big blank category, so I’ll play this game along with you. Why is it, exactly, that “we” need to keep close tabs on my weight gain?

While it’s very easy to find charts and calculators online to tell me how much weight I’m “supposed” to gain, and even lots that warn of the dangers of dieting during pregnancy, it was harder to find anyone who could outline the reasons why too much weight gain is a problem. I found one paragraph about it here.

The following are potential problems with gaining too much weight:

Gestational diabetes
Backaches
Leg pain
Increased fatigue
Varicose veins
Increased risk of Cesarean delivery
Hight blood pressure

Other than that, the big threat seems to be that if I gain too much weight during pregnancy, and don’t manage to take it all off again, I run the risk of being obese.

Maybe you noticed this when I first came in, doc… but I’m already obese. I’m just as obese as I was before I got pregnant with my first daughter. You may not remember it as well as I do. I had gestational diabetes, and high blood pressure, and symptoms of pre-eclampsia there at the end. You may not recall how much you praised me, in the months after that GD diagnosis, for how well I was controlling my weight. It wasn’t that hard- all it took was measuring and recording every morsel that went in my mouth, and working out at the gym three days a week (with a heart rate monitor, to make sure I wasn’t working out too hard), and pricking myself to check blood sugars 4 times a day. Funny thing was, after the diabetes, when I started eating when I was hungry, and working out because having own body back just felt soooo good… I very quickly got back to my pre-baby weight, and maintained it until that other pregnancy we don’t talk about. I was lucky- I didn’t have time to lose those 5 extra first-trimester pounds after the miscarriage before this current miracle happened.

You are the specialist who is caring for me during this pregnancy- my weight loss after is not your problem or concern. I appreciate your input about what might affect my health during this pregnancy.

Thanks for the warning that she hasn’t turned yet- not that I can do anything about it. I’ll talk to her, but her sister doesn’t listen to me, I don’t imagine she will either. Still, it’s cool to know what’s going on in there.

But last time, I tightly controlled my weight gain, and still had many of the complications that was supposed to help me avoid. This time, I don’t weigh myself. I don’t care. I eat when I’m hungry and move when I can, when I have the energy, and when my daughter wants to dance. And I feel really, really fantastic.

I know there’s no convenient space for that on your chart, and that you have other patients you need to see, and you get overbooked and overworked and really, I’m just here because I love, love, LOVE your little microphone that lets us listen to the amazing miracle that is her teeny, tiny beating heart. So I’m not going to waste your time.

But… I’m just saying.

[edited to remove a word (twice) that my husband says makes me sound angrier about this than I really am]

My new weight-loss plan!

I have another weigh-in with the OB today. I’ve been rehearsing my answer when he tells me I’ve gained: “That’s not surprising, I’m very hungry, and its getting harder to move around”.

However, I have decided that it is time to take control, and do something about my weight. I have chosen a plan, and I’m going to stick to it for a month and see where it gets me.

I’m going to leave my weight in the hands of Saint Bartholomew.

The Patron Saint of bookbinders and Florentine cheese merchants.

From the Wikipedia page linked above:
Of the many miracles performed by St. Bartholomew before and after his death, two very popular ones are known by the town-folk of the small island of Lipari. When St. Bartholomew’s body was found off the shore, the Bishop of St. Christopher’s Church of Lipari ordered many men to get the body. When this failed due to its extreme weight, the Bishop then sent out the children. The children easily brought the body ashore even though the older men couldn’t.

Ever since his discovery on the island, the people of Lipari celebrated his feast day annually. The tradition of the people was to take the solid silver and gold statue from inside the Cathedral of St. Bartholomew and carry it through the town. When taking the statue down the hill towards the town, it suddenly got very heavy and had to be set down. When the men carrying the statue regained their strength they lifted it a second time. After another few seconds, it got even heavier. They set it down and attempted once more to pick it up. They managed to lift it but had to put it down one last time. Within seconds, the walls further downhill collapsed. If the statue had been able to be lifted, all of the townspeople would have been killed.

The island has been invaded in its history. During one invasion, the king of the invading country discovered the statue and ordered it to be taken to be melted down. The statue was taken to the kingdom and weighed. It was found to weigh only two ounces and was thought to be hollow. It was returned to its place in the cathedral in Lipari. In reality, the statue weighs several tons and it is considered a miracle that it was not melted down.

St. Bartholomew is credited with many other miracles having to do with the weight of objects.

So St. Bart- do your thing.

My health I’ll keep tabs on myself. I’ll take responsibility for what I eat. I’ll own the fact that I don’t move this body around any more than I have to, these days. I’ll beat myself up a little for the fact that I don’t get into bed as early as I know I need to. I’ll even take the hit for the puffy ankles that indicate I haven’t found enough time in a day to elevate my feet above my heart.

My weight, St. Bartholomew, is up to you now.

I figure it’s at least as reliable a plan as “calories in/calories out”. It’s as simple as that. I may look for research funding to determine if my plan can ever be as effective, in the long term, as dieting.